 | | Marina Franklin. Photo: Comedy Dynamics | | |
If you’re like us, you’re deeply in love with the comedy of Maria Bamford — for how thoughtful, unique, honest, and vulnerable she is and always has been. And more than most comedians, Bamford is known for being notably curious and empathetic in interviews, often turning the tables on interviewers to ask them questions instead of the other way around. So we wondered: If Bamford were to interview comedians, what questions would she ask them, and what kind of answers would they inspire? Thankfully, Bamford agreed to send us questions for what we call the Maria Bamford Questionnaire, and for the latest installment, Marina Franklin agreed to share her answers. Franklin’s first stand-up comedy special, Single Black Female, debuts via Comedy Dynamics today on iTunes, Amazon Prime Video, Google Play, and more. Check out the trailer here. What just happened in your life?
Warmed up my body with some much-needed physical therapy — wall crawls. On the exhale, I whispered: “Sweet Knuckle Franklin returns.” (“Sweet Knuckle Franklin” is my boxing name.) What do you like to eat and/or drink right before bed?
I’m an intermittent-fasting person so … black coffee. What religion would you choose to follow if you had to?
According to 23andMe, at least 11.7 percent of me would follow Judaism. If you had to be the face of a product, what would you choose?
Maybelline’s Great Lash — Very Black Noir Intense. What’s your most repetitive, long-term fear?
That I have nothing funny to say. What is something you regret doing within the past week?
(You mean, besides agreeing to answer this questionnaire?) It’s always cheese. I always regret eating cheese. Solution to a social ill of your choice in five words or less!
Block the “like” button everywhere. What is the last thing you read — labels, Us Weekly, and texts count. Can you give us the gist of what you learned?
A friend texted me: “You need to stop being so strong and complain more.” In his next text, he complained about being stuck as “F$%^!k” (fuck)! People project onto you the opposite of what they need to do for themselves. He needs to stop complaining and be strong. Who was the most difficult person for you to listen to recently?
My 75-year-old neighbor. The conversation was ripe with mansplaining and homophobia. I took a knee during the conversation. What place will you never return to?
Kentucky. If you were without a home or an ability to earn, would you have anyone you can turn to for shelter and financial support? For how long?
Yes, my best friend, Isis. That’s her name for real. If I lose everything, I’m turning to Isis. Not something you want to repeat in an airport, but still, she’s a good friend. What TV show or movie would you want to play a part in, and what part would it be?
Black Mirror. In an episode not written yet, about a world obsessed with black female stereotypes. I want to play the role of the Jamaican nanny who knows karate. If you could take a brain ride in anyone’s consciousness, whose would it be? What do you think they’d be thinking?
Erykah Badu. She’s probably thinking something about not being down with my Apple Tree, or maybe it’s as simple as: “Ooh wee ooh wee ooh.” I don’t know, that’s why I need to get in there. Describe something that was funny to you.
The other day, walking in Harlem from 116th Street to 125th along Lenox Avenue … some of the best comedy material I’ve heard in years. Subscribe for $5 and get unlimited digital access to Vulture, New York, Intelligencer, the Cut, and Grub Street. | 
